How to Have Constructive Bible Conversations
“What do you believe about the sovereignty of God and the free will of man?”
This is a question someone asked me when I was in college. I love talking about the Bible and God, especially when the person asking the questions is genuinely interested. Theological conversations should be fruitful and helpful. But, I listened to enough conversations this particular guy had with others, and I knew he was not interested in a genuine discussion. At least, he was not interested in what I thought. At that moment, I knew I didn’t want to have a conversation because he wanted a debate.
So I replied, “You don’t really care how I answer it. You only want to know what I think so you can tell me where I am wrong.”
This kind of conversation about theology and the Bible happens all too often. When two people have differing thoughts on a secondary issue, it tends to end with the “I’m right and you’re wrong” stance.
But, does it always have to? Is there any way for Christians to lovingly disagree about the Bible? Sure, I think so. I believe it is even good and important to have conversations over little things. How can we do that without it becoming a full-blown debate or argument? The tips listed below are not exhaustive, but maybe they will be helpful.
Establish common ground.
When you disagree with a brother or sister, it is easy to forget you are on the same team.
Our theological convictions can divide us into different camps or groups. We are good at the us-versus-them mentality. We love to huddle up with like-minded folks and defend our positions at all cost. It is easier to read, discuss, and gather with those who think like we do.
When we’re faced with a brother or sister who holds a slightly different position on a secondary issue, it is easy to dismiss them.
Before you dismiss them, take a step back and remember the things you have in common. If you are both Christians, remember that. Jesus Christ came to save sinners. He was born God in flesh. He lived a perfect life. He was crucified, buried, and then resurrected. Those who call on him and submit to him as Lord will be saved. Start there.
Keep the peace.
Do everything you can to promote peace. In Romans 14, Paul addresses Christians who are being divided over eating certain kinds of food. His final words to them on this issue are in Romans 14:17-19:
“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding."
Paul takes a stance of unity here. It is a stance that promotes peace above division. You can have disagreements, even arguments with others, but remember to seek peace.
Be humble, ask questions, and listen.
Humility is not a quality many seek. We live in a world with social media platforms built to promote our self-importance, and we like to think we are more important than we probably are. Paul teaches in Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Learn how to be humble. Give in to the fact that you may not be right about everything. Don’t stop searching for the truth. This doesn’t mean to give up on your convictions. Hold tight to those. But, learn how to ask questions of someone who disagrees with you. Look for cues about how they arrived at their conclusions. Listen for how God is working in their life and in their heart. Try to understand what circumstances may be influencing their interpretation of Scripture. Then, wrestle together to find the truth in the text.
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At our church, we stress personal Bible reading with our students over and over. I want all our students to develop good habits of seeking to understand the Bible and seeking to know Christ through His word. But, I also tell them, “You are not reading the Bible just for yourself and just for personal growth. You are reading the Bible for me, too. I need you to read the Bible for me. And you need me to read the Bible for you.”
When you are studying the scriptures, you may see things or connect passages in ways I never would think of. I may do the same for you. The Lord is working in all our lives at different times and in different ways. Remember, we are at different points in our walk with Jesus. It is wise for you to listen and learn from those who have lived and walked with Christ longer than you. They have great wisdom and experience to share. It is also wise to learn from those who are newer in the faith. They have insight and enthusiasm you may have forgotten, and it could do you some good to rekindle it.
Many years ago, I was given an opportunity to preach at my church on a Sunday evening. I was sitting with the pastor in his office discussing the passage for the sermon, and we disagreed on an interpretation of the passage. It was a minor disagreement and was not essential to the gospel, but for me it was a huge moment. He did not cut me down or belittle my opinion. He listened. After listening to me explain my position, he still disagreed with me, and I with him. But, he did not force me to change my sermon to fit his opinion, and I felt comfortable to preach the sermon as I had written it.
I learned a great lesson in that situation that has followed me for many years. You do not have to correct someone’s theology at every turn. You do not have to force someone to believe every single non-essential detail exactly like you do. There will be plenty of times where you find yourself fighting for what you believe. But before you enter those conversations, step back and remember the common ground you have in Christ. Pursue peace and the mutual building up of each other in Christ. Then, lean in and listen. Ask good questions. You might learn something.
